Guess I'm just blessed to have people who really care about me in my life. Especially my friends who non-stop make me happy even when I'm really moody, they know how to cheer me up. Of course a lot of people stereotyping me cause all my close friends are guys. And some who use to judge me now is my close friends and they tell me straight. But who care? As long as I'm happy, that's all that matter right?
I thought I was the unlucky girl who doesn't have a lot of girlfriends to hang out with and do girly stuff together. But to think of it again, I'm happy to have those girl that stick around with me after all the shitty things happened in my life. And I'm away from all the dramas and backstabbing people. And what more, I have a loving yet crazy sister and lots of girl cousin. So I'm not that unlucky after all huh...
I use to be in a group of girls where we do everything together. And I realise in every group of girls, there will be one leader and one loser for whole group to bully or just a topic for them to make fun of. And yes I am the loser of the group. They talk about me, they cheat on me and etc. I was so depressed that I actually have to go through counselling and shit like that. It was the worst years of my life. So I decide to just leave them and mind my own life. And just so you know, few years later, the whole group just split. Why? Cause of the same reason, everyone is bashing each other. -.-!
Thank God I meet my true friends after all those dramas I suffered. And I feel so blessed and happy now.
I think— I think when it’s all over, it just comes back in flashes, you know? It’s like a kaleidoscope of memories, but it just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen. It’s not really anything he said, or anything he did. It was the feeling that came along with it. And.. crazy thing is, I don’t know if I’m ever gonna feel that way again. But I don’t know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright. But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks.. so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that, when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him, it was losing me.
I don’t know if you know who you are until you lose who you are.
How I celebrate my new year?
Went out with sis and her photographer friend to my hometown stadium just to watch fire works. Actually I was kind of scared to watch fireworks. Not that I'm scared of fireworks but just scared that I recall my past. I mean its exactly a year ago that I broke up with my ex. Yes on new year eve. But I just go cause hey it's new year, what is a new year celebration without fireworks right?
Never spend my new year eve with my sister before. Alright once but that is like a family gathering which I spend most of my time with my cousin instead.
So yeah. But right before everything happen, lets start from beginning!
I have half day of school and after which I went to usual to meet Mr Aj. Spend some time with him cause its the new year eve anyway right. So watch this movie called "New year eve" but both of us got bored so he end up sleeping and I end up day dreaming. What a way to spend time together -.-! So then we had a serious conversation but he was too busy doing "something" that is very distracting!! But what the hell, I still continue. After a deep yet long conversation, we decide to head home cause it's raining. I was actually down when I heard his reply to my question. Didn't expect that kind of answer though! So in the bus I had my moment praying and talking to HIM. Saying to show me the ONE cause I don't want to get hurt. Who do right? I don't know its like I get hurt over and over again.
Surprisingly it rain only during my moment with HIM and stop when I stop. And after that, I see no guy of my age, just old people and young children. And they act as if I'm invisible. Scary but true! Annnnddd it rain again at soon as I reach my hometown. So had to linger at this supermarket around my house. Me being me, I just can't take it being in the same place so I decide to just run to my house. Yes still feel invisible! Guess what, surprise surprise I bump into Mr A! Like at last I don't feel invisible. We chat for awhile and went back home. (He live in the same block as me)
As I was walking home, I was like "Is it a sign?" Once I reach home, I quickly clean myself off and look for him on facebook and chat. Dafuq I know right?! Haha!! So we chat and suddenly I remember that hes birthday falls on new year. So decide to wish him in person. (How cheesily cheap!) So yeah told him that and he's like "Great!"
Decide to meet at 10 after the movie on TV. "Just wish him? Empty handed... NO WAY not my style! *Saw cupcake on the table* Shall give him a cupcake with a candle to blow.. YES!"
So at 10 I look for a candle and grab the cupcake and went out. Meet him and he was like so shock. Just look at the text message(below)! Hahah! How cute! So I told him that he have to make a wish and blow out the candle in front of me.
Waited for sis and went to stadium. Look how beautiful those fireworks. Sadly there's no 3,2,1 Happy new year. They just start singing Auld Lang Syne -.-!
But whatever it is, I had a great time. I mean throughout the whole new year eve. Thank god! I love you. To 2013, please be good to me. I suffered enough in 2012.
Goodbye 2012 and Hello 2013!
2012 has been a wild roller coaster ride for me. I start my 2012 with a break up and yeah, starting of 2012 was a mess. But once it start to the middle it went okay and became better as time flies.
2012 also thought me to be a better person. Both mentally and emotionally. I learn how to control my mind and emotions at times. Alright I'm still yes emotional but it has improve okay!! (Guilty conscious)
And 2012 is where I meet a lot of new friends and meet up with old friends and not to mention my family become closer. And I travel more too.
But whatever it is, I will try not to repeat any of "those" event that happened but make it better as now I am a wiser person.
Just hope 2013 is my year after suffering for 3/4 of 2012. Like seriously *cross finger squared*